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This is not saying that having a child isn’t worth it, but this is not about YOU having a child. Her body was changed by something that is of no benefit to you.” Jonathan explains: “I’m a really spontaneous person and love the idea of saying to my partner, ‘come on, pack your bags, let’s go away for a couple of days’ but you can’t do that with kids.Everything has to be planned and organised beforehand.” He also struggles with the emotional burden of having to be a father figure to someone else’s child.We all know the stereotype: Men, bored by the constraints of monogamy and domesticity, heartlessly dump their girlfriends or leave their wives. ""In sickness and in health" - Does cohabitation count? Elizabeth Mc Clintock claims: "Marriage is strongly associated with overall happiness for both genders, in part because marriage is associated with financial wellbeing and better health (Stack 1998)." No, that is wrong.While newly single men enjoy the freedoms of bachelordom, their exes sob into a pint of ice cream. 1998 “Marital Status and Happiness: A 17-Nation Study.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60(2): 527-536. People who get married and stay married might be overall happier and financially well off, and in better health.“I’ve been stood up a few times because the children are sick or the childcare has fallen through and I want someone who wants to put our relationship first.” Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them."This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says.The 45 year-old logistics specialist from St Ives in Cambridgeshire has never been married and has been single for over a year. He is 46 but still wants to settle down and have at least two children, which can be an issue for some single mothers who are wary of entering new relationships and having more children.“I would very much like to meet someone and have a family of my own but I really don’t want to date anyone with their own children,” he says. “They’ve been there, done that and don’t necessarily want more,” says Dan, a self-employed businessman from North London.
“The kids of another woman I dated didn’t really accept me and there was a feeling of ‘Who are you?
“We are driven to reproduce and continue our lineage ,” says Carole.
“When men are looking for a mate they look for someone physically and mentally healthy to breed with so that their child can be born strong.
“I dated a girl for a year and she had three children and she lived a couple of hours away. “After all, it hasn’t worked out once before so why should they risk having more children?
She would come and see me every two or three weeks and I kept saying, ‘I’ll come and see you, I promise’ but I never did. “She’d talk about them constantly and I’d nod and shake my head in the right places but I wasn’t really paying attention. ” The desire to procreate and carry on your ancestral line is something evolutionary psychologist Carole Jahme believes is inbuilt in men.