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I dated him for a year before he enlisted, and then for almost two years afterwards. It especially changed the way he treated me, though it didn't happen overnight.
Military relationships seem to be overwhelmingly unequal.
We've planned our life together and I really want it to work out.
I dated a military man and he really set the bar for how a man should treat me (and women in general).
He went from being my partner, to being a sailor with a girlfriend.
When I had a problem, we didn't discuss it as equals, he told me I needed to "be more like the other Navy girlfriends" or "I have the same issues as ____ wife, you should talk to her." What I wanted came second. I had to be okay with the supportive role, and okay making sacrifices because . I should have walked the moment that changed, but I loved him, I was young and I couldn't let go of what I had before.
I always hear horror stories about dating military guys and have met a couple awful military guys myself (violent, immature, threatened me). In the realm of military men, try to avoid the ones that get caught up in unit drama.
I realize that bad men are not specific to the military, it is just one of those professions that can really mold a person. What qualities/life choices/ etc do you think separate the good ones from the bad? If they gossip about their friends' wives/girfriends/SOs I would stay way.
The sexism, racism and arrogance of many military personnel always upset me, but I tried hard to put that aside and enter the Military relationship with an open mind. I try very hard not to create my opinion solely on my hurt, but I'd be insane not to admit that it must color it slightly. But please, please don't make life-long sacrifices without appreciating that there are other options. He cheats constantly, then makes her think it's her fault. He won't take more than two easy community college classes a semester, and usually ends up failing out of at least one.And I know some military people who are just jerks.One thing that's important, though, is to remember that most likely they will be gone often, for long periods of time, over and over. Also military often comes first before family..always, but I'd say with the majority.But don't count him out on just the biases of others. I was in a military relationship for 2.5 years, and almost engaged.It created a very difficult time in my life, but I am to this day so so so so grateful that I did not marry that man, as much as I loved him.