College freshman dating college senior
They also did not think other guys and girls their age wanted a relationship either.
“I think that freshman year is a time where people want to explore and they don’t want to be tied down,” said Hagenburg.
And contrary to popular opinion, many men have reported in private interviews that they like being in relationships and if they are not in one, they would like to be in one.
“They feel it’s very difficult to openly admit that because they’re supposed to be instead interested in hookups and being casual,” said Tomaskovic-Devey.
Barbara Tomaskovic-Devey, a sociology professor at UMass Amherst who has done extensive research on college relationships says that despite such high statistics, many college students report in confidential interviews that they do not find the hookup culture as appealing as the numbers show that they do.
“What a lot report is that they don’t particularly like it and they wish that it were different, but they feel that they have to put up with it,” said Tomaskovic-Devey.
“A lot of them also believe that this is the way relationships start now, so if they want to be in a relationship, the way to do it is to be casual in the beginning.
Second, while you'll still probably wish every day of undergrad that they'll just grow up already, college guys are in a much better place in life than they were two or three years ago, and they're right on the cusp of actual adulthood where sh*t gets real, real fast.
“They’re not looking for permanence,” said Tomaskovic-Devey.
“A lot of them don’t know where they’re going to be, and again, where our culture is defining it for them is that they still have time, and after they graduate they have to focus on their careers.” But there definitely is a difference between the romance ideals of freshmen and seniors. “Freshmen in particular are out to enjoy themselves.
“I know just as many boys who were as committed in a relationship once they were in them as I know girls who were,” said Dickinson.
It is often perceived that girls want a relationship more than boys do, but Tomaskovic-Devey says there are many more young women today than in the past who don’t want a serious relationship yet because they want focusing on their academics without distractions.